WithUiamInfinite

This post is just letting y'all know where im at, Im like around, ya know, like im here but half the time im really not, ive been trying to stay sane and myself by mixing my ideas with reality, I sound crazy no? I should care but I dont, Im literally at the same fucking head space, I dont want to be around anyone, because I dont trust anyone, I just think of the worst happening in every scenario, but i feel like im being realistic and preparing myself because sooner or later the worse happens, might not happen today, or in 6 months from now.... but believe me, it happens! Someone brought up my last baby the other day..... I think about the situation often. See I dont think my boyfriend was really bothered by it, by I had never went through that before. If i could have one wish it would be for another chance. Id also wish for a home. Ive realized recently that Ive never had one of those..... a home where I was actually looking forward to coming back to. A home where I could find...

As I type this new post, i think its important to warn my audience this there are possible trigger warnings. If you are triggered please close this page immediately. Ive recently come to realize how much I hate people! I know not all of you are bad, but for some strange reason, I only attract people that wish to hurt me. Take my family for instance, who conditioned me to be the way I am... my dad , who put more fear in my heart for years, and than has filled my adulthood with his haunting disappointment. my mom,   who stayed in fear of my dad, but would always obey what he wanted, even when we lived like we worshipped him, I'm tired of letting people hurt me, Im fed up with it all, I was scammed recently, and it made me question all of my relationships.... People smile and tell me they love me, and want the best for me, but why every time I did what someone told me to do.... I ended up unhappy?? I really hate myself for trying to see the good in everyone... I hate myself for ev...

& here i am! Not really a lot of updates but... Im starting to feel some type of way about a few things... I dont mean to sound dramatic or whateva... But maybe I really have lost my mind. Im starting to look at life in a negative way, no matter how hard I try to fight it... People are horrible. I dont exclude myself when I say that, but people are really bad... its like maybe when you get old and realize that you got a chance to do all the bad stuff when you were younger, you start to get bored.... and without even thinking about it, you become better. I just feel that nobody really gets me, like I dont even understand how i think sometimes. Ive been having flashbacks like crazy, and trying to decide if I need help... or am I just slowly losing more of my mind with each passing day. My parents have completely given up on me, and it really sucks... I feel like everyone around me sees me as the cute and cuddly (and kind of ditzy) chey, but nobody takes me seriously. I s...

Whats up guys!! So, yes I know its been a couple of days since I've posted - (please forgive me) I recently had an epiphany after having my first miscarriage right... I was hit with the fact that I was going to be responsible for a whole person - no, chey, just an arm lol (bad pun) I really had to take a look at my life, and I realized that I had accomplished absolutely nothing in all of my 22 years. I didn't want this new life to be raised off of government funds, I wanted my child to be proud of me, and have access to anything and everything that they wanted. I wanted to be able to really provide for my child so that they will go after what they want and not what people suggest they should do. I know that feeling, and my mother worked very hard to give me a life that not every kid gets a chance at. I never had to experience hunger, I always had what I wanted even when I clearly didn't deserve it. The bad experiences I went through were because I strayed from the the...

Heys Guys! - yes I meant it that way So, I am happen to love all animals dude! Notice I said ANIMALS  and not insects!! I wanted to bring to your attention one of my favorite animals that have now been listed as an endangered species. The Hippo! I never thought these guys would be on this list, but poachers have been known to kill off these majestic creatures for their teeth and skin. There are a bunch of organizations out there that will accept your donations to help save them! Even if its just a dollar, I think a few of us can spare our daily dose of starbucks to save a life. Some websites even have it to where you simply sign a petition to save the hippo! Heres one of those websites:http://www.care2.com/news/member/840862522/4085845 I wanted to take the time out to post about something that I am passionate about and that actually matters. I want future generations to "ooh" and "aww" at the sight of the hippo one day. Dont you?

Hey guys its CheyS, recently I've been in a dark place mentally and physically, which is why it took me awhile to post.... so many things have happened that ive kept quiet about and it really sucks, theres really nobody I can turn to that has good intentions for me, my family is there but they dont understand and im pretty sure all of them have lost hope in me, im 22 and have accomplished nothing in the last 4 years (when i graduated high school) Love? I love the man im with but i feel like ive overstayed my welcome.... I feel like im annoying because i want to be around all the time. Being with him had made me feel normal for some strange reason, but now i feel like a burden... So, ive come to the conclusion that I need to just be alone If im alone, nobody will be worried about me, i won't be clingy to anyone, i won't be used by anyone. I just dont know whats wrong with me. I really do hate myself sometimes.... all the time.... Ive been this way since my bi...

HEY Y'ALL (miley cyrus voice) So, I wanted to take this time to reach all my foodies and diabetics out there! - Type 1 over here!! I have a problem with snacking and have a habit of running to junk - chips, and other salty morsels. Of course the doctors tell you to stay away from the unnecessary carbs... However, 💣 I wasn't to keen to run to the salads, cheese and slices of sandwich meat (no carbs, or very little) I do like mushrooms though, and even though they make me smell all day.... I FUCKING LOVE ONIONS!! - this is not a joking matter. I literally order extra onions on every burger I eat. One time I experimented and ate funyuns with guacamole... (they are a form of onion right?😯) Anyways... So, its not a new food I invented or anything... I'm no chef boyardee. It is a good snack, I wanted to share because it was something I found that I liked and it helps me control my blood sugars. Why not kill two birds with one stone? - NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED I...

I had an epiphany today. Have you ever hit that moment, where you stop and start to really look into how people treat you? Have you ever started to question every human interaction you've ever encountered? Its like.... Everyone knew the script in the movie except you. You realize that people actually happen to be disgusting. No matter what role they play in your life... Ive been conditioned. We all have! I used to think it was just me. But its everyone!! I thought I was fucked up, ya know? Thought I was straight out retarded(no offense) But it wasn't me! It was how people reacted when I started to show them that I was smarter and stronger on my own. They couldn't handle it, so they would start feeding me bullshit, I used to believe people were good. I used to strive to make the ones around me happy, because I always thought they would do the same. Where has that left me? Divorced, alone, broke and dependent of others.

Hey guys!  So, I wanted to do a movie review on this movie thats on Netflix called, "Natural Selection" I give this movie 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐ I did enjoy the movie, I just feel like their were certain holes in the plot. The main character, Tyler, who is played by Mason Dye is a the new kid in town and starts school off rough because he encounters bullies on his first day. Things do start to look up for him as he befriends Paige, a very pretty and kind girl who has a history of dating the guy who takes part in Tylers bullying. Tyler also befriends Indrid, who seems legit in the beginning, but we later learn as the audience that he has a dark side to him which prevails in the end. I give this movie 3 stars because I feel like it jumped around from Tylers past (his dad killed himself) and the problems he had with his mom, than back to Indrid and his influence on Tyler. I do appreciate the suspense in the movie which is why I recommend it altogether. Leave comments and share t...

So recently I've started to notice something about my boyfriend, OR it might not even be im, it may be me taking everything personal again... Anyways, Some people have started to say that I act caucasian ???I dont understand that though??? So, I asked him, " is it because I'm not ghetto? " "No, you just dont have any swag" ....... Well, I stopped worrying about swag around 18... What really defines "Swag" anyway? I mean I always had issues having african american friends because I just wasn't like the other black girls. Its weird though... He thinks it makes me less black because I like people like keith urban and hilary duff... but I also like drake and lil uzi vert and... yea you get it... What the flying fuck is swag? & maybe that is my swag If it important to have I dont want my swag matching other peoples swag? Fin.

So for some strange reason, Ive been dying to be by myself Like I hate, when Im alone with nothing to do... but when Im around people they all make me feel inferior to them... Like no, i haven't finished a degree a yet and ive started like 6 different schools no i dont have a job and have stopped the search for one no i can't drive and im 22 I dont care about those things anymore though because I realized I wasn't doing those things for me I was doing them because people said i should and i wanted someone to tell me i was doing something right... Im content with being absolutely nothing right now. one thing i did start doing again is my gages... their blue (fav) i guess im trying to look older, tired of people confusing my boyfriend as my dad or brother,

Hey guys,  I know its been years since you've heard from me, MY BADD!!  I'm back and with a vengeance! So much shit has happened and everything is all fucked up right now! Im glad I have you guys here with me.