Young&Restless

& here i am!
Not really a lot of updates but...
Im starting to feel some type of way about a few things...
I dont mean to sound dramatic or whateva...
But maybe I really have lost my mind.
Im starting to look at life in a negative way, no matter how hard I try to fight it...
People are horrible.
I dont exclude myself when I say that, but people are really bad...
its like maybe when you get old and realize that you got a chance to do all the bad stuff when you were younger, you start to get bored.... and without even thinking about it, you become better.
I just feel that nobody really gets me, like I dont even understand how i think sometimes.
Ive been having flashbacks like crazy, and trying to decide if I need help...
or am I just slowly losing more of my mind with each passing day.
My parents have completely given up on me, and it really sucks... I feel like everyone around me sees me as the cute and cuddly (and kind of ditzy) chey, but nobody takes me seriously.
I still feel like a child around everyone and the only one I can blame for this is me. I like being around people but I still think about just being alone and doing everything for myself, you can't trust a soul these days and Ive given up on the idea of love, once you start loving people and caring about people they end up hurting you some way, it never fails.... my boyfriend has proven that to me recently... Yea... we are still together.... i just am healing from things, like one day he's telling me he hates me and the next day he's giving me random kisses in public..... ive had more flashbacks of my baby.... and im so jealous of all the people just having babies like normal, working out like normal, being independent and shit.... but no.... i have diabetes so i couldnt have my baby..... i have a hernia so im not supposed to work out..... and everyone thinks im a child because i act and live like one, ill never be able to satisfy my boyfriend, he's older and has been with women who have their own shit.

If people listened to how I think, it would probably scare them
XoXo >.<

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